Year 2, Day 224: Shakespeare Institute -- Talking it out.

After almost 9,000 words written, and countless materials read and researched, I have reached the pinnacle of inspiration and specificity and have begun revising my outline to reflect the new ideas I will be tackling in my thesis.  As always, I cannot give details here beyond that it has to do with Shakespeare and Production Design.  In a few short weeks I will begin writing my actual thesis, and producing work that will eventually go on to be evaluated by a committee of scholars that will approve my PhD-ness.  I am confident that I know what I should be talking about, and that specificity of topic, questions, research, and the ultimate "why am I including this sentence?" will be tackled every line, page, and chapter.  I've got this, except I've never done this before.

There are no instruction manuals.  There is no way anyone in the world can tell me what it will be like for the next two-and-a-half years writing this beast, and whether it will turn out wonderfully, passably, or not at all.  Who knows, I may have to re-do the outline again and again... and keep starting afresh every two months from here on in until I get it right.

I wish I could share my ideas here.  I really do.  I'm fairly confident that no one has tackled the things I'm on to... simply because I'm not sure anyone else would be that interested in the topic.  I'd love to crowd-source and find people that I could talk to about this.  I wish I could simply have a conversation with a competent and interested party which I felt confident enough in that no one would steal my ideas and publish their own book on the matter.  Arrogant?  Of course it is.  No one wants to say out loud to anyone else, "Yes, of course I'd love your input, but I'm afraid that you'll steal this idea and try to capitalize on it without giving me the credit I have worked so hard for."  Again, don't invite me to your next dinner party.

I feel like I'm not alone in this feeling however.  How many tales of fiction and non-fiction have been based around this very premise?  Is it my destiny to change the world with my original thinking, or is it my destiny to write a rather cliche story of how my great idea was stolen by some other enterprising individual who managed to capitalize on it first?  Is my idea good enough to steal in the first place?  Would I be better off trying to write this on my own?  Is the University going to claim the rights to this piece of work because I wrote it as a PhD student of theirs, or will I be able to publish afterwards and keep all the rights?  Will I get published at all?  I should probably write the thing first.

I'm not alone in that way of thinking.  I know it.  But as a result, I'm alone in my own thoughts... and unable to tell if my great ideas are even great at all.

Give every man thy ear but few thy voice. - Hamlet (I.iii)

Year 2, Day 224 - Words Written: 0