I'm finally on a path. I don't know if it's even the right one, but I'm on it.
Do you know that feeling of being lost for so long that you actually begin to ignore where it was you were going and just start looking for familiar territory? Yeah, me neither. But I have this friend, who says that a PhD feels exactly like that. I certainly don't feel that way. I've been chugging right along on the same line of research since day one, and I greet every morning with a smile as if to say, "I love today, and I love my work." My friend however has told me that he no longer knows what his thesis will be on save to say, "It'll focus on stuff that other people don't know yet" and that he greets his morning with a pot of coffee, a grimace, and a fist towards the heavens as if to say, "If I shoved this up my ass, would I be better off researching the pain, the premise, or the promise that I will 'never do that again', and is there a conference I can go to on this topic?"
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I have -most- of a topic, I know what I'm doing right now, and my research is really interesting to me. That's all I needed to say on that.
In other news, I got tickets to Hamlet with Benedict Cumberbatch which opens next year. Seriously. a year from now, and I get a sense of accomplishment in scoring tickets (as the queue for tickets was at one point 30,000 people long). For theatre. A year from now.
In America, 'theatre is dying'... it always is. I live in Stratford-upon-Avon, where the largest building in town is a gigantic monument to the greatest playwright who ever lived that gets national funding and has started (or been the part of) the careers of some of the world's biggest movie and television stars. This one building.
In America, 'theatre is corporate'... who do you think puts up the money for twelve separate companies of 'Phantom of the Opera'? The National, The Royal Shakespeare Company, Cheek by Jowl, The New Globe are all theatre companies. They have corporate elements that fund raise for them. Notice that the buildings they house themselves in are not called "The Preparation-H Swan Theatre" or "The Coca-Cola Other Space" or "The Comcast Globe" (though I am sure Comcast borad of directors would each give their left leg to be able to say that last one.)
In America, 'arts education is suffering'... yeah, well it is here too, but I'm getting a degree in Shakespeare Studies from the guys and girls who actually edit William Shakespeare. No shit. What have you got?
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It's crazy right? Booking tickets for theatre, Shakespearean theatre, a year in advance would never happen in the States.
Lastly, I am hanging on to my humanity with both hands. I have to remind myself that people should mourn in private with those closest to them... and not publicly declare that they are sad, so the world should be sad with them. I am reminding myself that honoring someone's memory is not as good as, or not the same as honoring someone's life. That's when you take the time to write your heroes a letter saying how much they have inspired you... while they're alive. I remind myself to go out everyday and walk (or at least Vicky does) sometimes without my phone or money. If you're reading this, I imagine you are already aware of the basic human need to get some fresh air without the need to take a picture or buy something. I remind myself that asking a good question is always more interesting than finding the only answer. I remind myself that polarized opinions are not the best way to build a community but rather the best way to start a fight. I remind myself that there will always be much smarter and much dumber people than myself... and that it is important to know (or to learn) how to speak to both groups of people as an equal. Because some of the dumb ones know how to change a carburetor, and some of the smart ones will come to your dance class.
That, and too much of a good thing is still just too much. It always ends with a trip to the toilet that is either scary, sad, or far too time-consuming... or some combination of the three.
ORLANDO:Then love me, Rosalind.
ROSALIND: Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all.
ORLANDO: And wilt thou have me?
ROSALIND: Ay, and twenty such.
ORLANDO: What sayest thou?
ROSALIND: Are you not good?
ORLANDO: I hope so.
ROSALIND: Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?
-- AS YOU LIKE IT (IV.i)
Year 2, Day 338 - Words Written: 950
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